May 18, 2010

So You Say I Don't Fit In...

So you say I don’t fit in??? Interesting. So before I started to cry, I first asked WHY?

Because I don’t join you when you gossip about others?

Because I try to see the positive, say good things, and even defend the people you are gossiping about?

Because I change the subject when you gossip and say “okay everyone let’s be nice”?

Or is it because I minister in dance differently than you?

Because I encourage you to get the whole story before you accuse or get upset with someone?

Because I don’t get upset when I minister and I don’t care whether or not I get paid?

Or is it because I don’t talk like you, walk like you, or are into the same things as you?

Or is it because you listened to gossip about me and chose to believe that instead of looking at my character (and you never knew the ones who gossiped about me to you also gossiped about you to me but I chose to ignore them and stood by you anyway).

Or was it because you believed the gossip from others about me because they can help you more than me?

Or did someone tell you I did not fit in?

Because of my size, my weight?

Because of my style of praise dance?

Or maybe you chose to listen to someone who said that I did not fit in?


I cried and cried and thought “I don’t understand” because:  

I fit in when you called and talked about how your enemies were trying to destroy you. I listened.


I fit in when others gossiped about you and I chose to ignore them (and never told you).

I fit in when I cried because I saw you hurt.

I fit in when I prayed for you when everyone else turned their back on you.

I fit in when I prayed for your enemies to leave you alone.

I fit in when you were feeling uncomfortable around your enemies…I quietly prayed and smiled to let you know everything was going to be okay.

I fit in when you texted me about how others continued to abuse, talk about and hurt you.

I fit in when I listened to you at 6am, and gave up MY prayer time, because I knew you were hurting.

I fit in when you needed help.

I fit in when I sacrificed to be there for you and totally neglected my personal needs.

I fit in when you needed a shoulder to cry on.

I fit in when I was sick but still came out to support you.

I fit in when you talked about others and I listened.

I fit in when I helped you to prepare to minister.

I fit in when I prayed for you before and after you ministered.

I fit in when I had water waiting for you after you ministered.

I fit in when I prayed and checked on you when you were sick.

I fit in when you were running late to minister and was waiting there to carry your bags when you arrived.

I fit in when I got to practice before you and got everything ready.

I fit in when you went to teach and I came to support and help you.

I fit in when I got up early and stood outside, in the ice cold weather, to be 1st in line to replace a tire so I could still make practice (the tire that went flat the night before, when I was on my way to support you).

I fit in when you asked me to do something for you and I did gladly.

I fit because you were just using me……because when I was in need, you made excuses and when I let you know that I was hurt, you did not care that you hurt me.

HMMMM, sounds like I fit in when it benefited YOU.

Then a good and wise friend came to me and said “perhaps God did not want you to fit in.” God made you an eagle because eagles soar on the wind; chickens stay on the ground and don't fly very far. And when chickens fly, they only travel a short distance. An eagle can’t develop and grow if it stays around a chicken. So, be happy you don't fit in! Thanks my friend!

Then another wise friend came to me and said “better to know now then later”. Her husband gave me the following scriptures: Luke 12:11 “...do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say...”

And also Luke 12:12 “...for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say…" Moses did not have to lift a finger to defend himself against Aaron and Miriam…God will defend the wrongly acussed.

My wise friend told me this: “You need to pick your self up, dust your feet off, and smile and move on to better things of God! He will guide your steps in everyway! …He has a plan for you, but also just like we found out better to know the truth right now then later and eyes to see…. He (God) is our light, our path and the more narrow as it gets the better off we are!

1 comment:

  1. A lot of us needed to read this. Thank you for posting!

    ReplyDelete